Fishbowl
by Sakura the Cookie Monster
Summary: Sometimes, people escape through their dreams and fantasies to cope with the cold, harsh reality of life.


TITLE: Fishbowl  
AUTHOR: Sakura the Cookie Monster  
RATING: R  
DISCLAIMER: Standard disclaimers apply.  
WARNING: Masturbation, implied yaoi. If you don't like, there's the exit. *points to the little "X" and the "Back" button.  
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Right now, I dream that I'm swimming in the oceans. I am at peace as I look up and see the sun shining down on me. My heart is beating softly against my chest as I swim lower, towards the darkness. As I try to move my legs, I look down and see that I no longer have legs, but a blackish-blue fish tail. I was no longer human. I was now a mermaid. I felt so free. I no longer wanted to be a hero. I just want to forget loneliness, sorrow, and pain. I close my eyes for a few moments and lay down against a rock formation, laying myself down on my stomach.  
  
When I open my eyes again, I realize that I'm no longer in the ocean. And realize that I'm in a fishbowl. I see my couch, my belongings. And I see Motoki, Usagi, Chibi-usa... they're all looking at me. And I see Luna, trying to catch me. Artemis is trying also. What do they want with me? Why do I feel so alone? I'm in a fishbowl, alone. With the closest people to my heart, laughing at me, betraying me, I close my eyes and drift lower towards the bottom of the bowl. Towards oblivion...  
  
I curl up into a fetal position and have never been more afraid of anything in my life. As I finally reach the bottom of the bowl, I want nothing more than to wake up and find this to be a dream. But as I lay down, using the edge of the bowl as a bed, I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. I turn around and I see the one person that I didn't expect to see.  
  
"Fiore," I mouth off.  
  
He was also a mermaid, with his tail a dark emerald green. He pulls me in a comforting embrace, and I feel his arms tighten around my waist. My head lays in the junction between his head and shoulders and I rest my eyes, hoping that I wouldn't hear their taunts from the outside. I can feel his soft fingers combing through my hair. Then, he leans forward and kisses me. And, I surrender, feeling the isolation within disappear instantly. He pulls away, all too soon. Don't leave me alone also, Fiore.  
  
"Fiore..."  
  
"Don't worry. You'll never feel alone again," he says as he pulls me into another kiss and into the darkness of my heart.  
  
* * *  
  
I wake up, panting, and drenched in sweat. I was breathing heavily, still in shock of what I saw. I try to recall the dream in my mind. But, I fail to do so. All I can remember was the severe isolation in that fishbowl, being on display and laughed upon. It felt unusually warm and confining here in my room. What in the world was I dreaming about?  
  
I lie back down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. The fan was twirling above me in its continuous spin. I just lie there on my bed, hoping that I would fall asleep by staring at the fan. But, the only thing I can think of is myself, trapped in a fishbowl.  
  
I place my hand over my heart. I can feel my heart beat against my chest rapidly, bursting to get the hell out of my body. That mental thought reminded me of that alien that bursts out of your chest in the Alien movies. I can just imagine me, screaming as an alien popped out of my body and right in front of Sailor Moon, in the middle of battle. Not a pleasant image at all.  
  
I turn to lay down on my stomach, brushing my semi-hard cock on the bed. I breathe sharply, knowing that the only thing that my body wants was a quick handjob. I bite my lip, trying my best to ignore it. It was obvious that I got turned-on by the dream. I close my eyes and start thinking of unpleasant things, such as Rei's grandpa in a speedo.  
  
But, it doesn't work, as my thoughts drift to me imagining Motoki in a speedo. I close my eyes, trying my best to conjure up a thought of Rei's grandpa in a speedo. But, I fail at that task, now that I'm imagining Usagi, with her clothes all wet and clinging to her body. At least that this thought was better than Motoki in a speedo... which was a delicious...   
  
"No! Snap out of it. Go back to thinking of Usagi, you baka," I screamed out loud, frustrated with my mind and my imagination at the moment.  
  
I ball my hand up into a fist, trying my hardest to ignore the urge to jerk off here and now. I even become desperate enough to hide my head underneath my pillow. Maybe I should try to suffocate myself with the pillow? Anything to prevent me from jerking off to something other than Usagi. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Trying to be a faithful man to Usagi is a pain in my ass. Especially when it came to the need to just simply fuck Usagi's brains out without any regrets or "trying to save it for the wedding night" rules.  
  
Then, I could've sworn that I heard Fiore's voice in my mind.  
  
_Go on, Mamoru. Touch yourself for me..._  
  
Suddenly, I open my eyes, now realizing that I've gone insane and that I need some sleep. I turn my head to the left and see that it's only three o'clock in the morning. I close my eyes again, trying my best to go to sleep. I must get some sleep now. Before that delusional voice comes back and begs me to touch myself in careless abandon.  
  
_What are you so afraid of? It's only self-love. Who's going to know that you're satisfying your needs?_  
  
Shut up, you stupid voice! You're just a voice in my head, I reasoned. It's just my imagination, wishing for someone to be here now.  
  
_Am I? For all you know, I could be right next to you._  
  
That's when I felt long slender fingers brushing my hair and a pair of teeth nipping my ear. I groan as I felt a wet tongue lick the back of my neck.  
  
_Touch yourself for me, Mamoru._  
  
I finally give in to the inner voice in my mind. I lay down on my back and sneak my hands into my shorts. I wet my lips as I start pumping my cock with one hand and squeezing my ball sac with the other.  
  
_Come on, Mamoru. Give it your all for me._  
  
I open my eyes and I see Fiore, sitting on top of me. He looked so beautiful, raising and lowering his hips in tandem with my thrusts. I could feel how tight he was when I was inside him. And I could hear his moans, hearing him scream my name out, asking me for more.  
  
_That's it, Mamoru. Just like that... Gods, you feel so good._  
  
I keep going at this steady pace, trying my best to make it last for as long as I could. His legs were tightening around my waist and his hands were stroking his own cock. I felt selfish, not helping him out at all. But, at this time, I was too blinded by my lust to care at this moment.  
  
With one last thrust, I came, releasing my seed in his body. I just revel in this perfection. Though, that perfection was short-lived.  
  
_That felt so good, Mamoru. Now, don't you feel better now?_  
  
I blink and see that Fiore was gone.  
  
_Of course I'm gone, Mamoru. After all, I was just a figment of your imagination. Something that you call upon in your mind when you become lonely._  
  
I pull my right hand out of my shorts and see my seed, spread all over it. I sat up, knowing that I imagined him with me, easing my loneliness by imagining that I was fucking him. When will I ever grow up and realize that it will never happen? Why is it that I want something that I'll never have?  
  
I look at my palm in shame. Is this how I'm supposed to spend my nights? Alone, with no companionship from anyone but Usagi? To jerk off whenever I was lonely? I don't want to be in this bed alone. All I want is for someone to ease my loneliness, even if it's just for one night.  
  
I think about the fishbowl dream I had. Maybe it meant something? Do dreams have symbolic meaning? I doubt it. Though, in the fishbowl, I didn't have to ease my sexual desires alone. In the dream, Fiore was there. I now long for the fishbowl of my subconcious more than anything else. At least there, I will never be alone.  
  
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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Possibly the strangest fic I have ever written. Damn my muse sometimes. Leave a review and tell me what you think.  



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